Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
