just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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