they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My feet surprised me
Randomize
