She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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