We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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