That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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