Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
