I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
