Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
