Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
