Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
