I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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