I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
