I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
