He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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