I accidentally burped into my bong.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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