discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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