he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
