Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Someone signed my nipple.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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