some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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