I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
