and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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