Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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