I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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