In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
