i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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