Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
