my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
