I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
