Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize