I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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