i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
