Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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