You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize