Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
