Moan for me like Helen Keller
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
