He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I currently don't understand fingers.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
