He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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