Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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