I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just had sex bonerless
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
