If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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