just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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