Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
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