So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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