I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
