So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
