After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
