Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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