Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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