found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
