We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
