fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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