Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
