Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
