whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
