I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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