At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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