I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
