Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
