Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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