One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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