Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize