Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
