Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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