oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
