ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
