the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
