She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
