she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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