Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
